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Speaking of absolutely nothing remotely related: For reasons that shall remain unknown, I was listening to an 80’s radio station today. And after suffering through Patrick Swayze (rest his soul, but was it really necessary for him to record “She’s Like the Wind” and for the world not only to not ignore it but rather to keep playing it for 25+ years??) and Billy Ocean (get out of my radio and into your car and drive far away, please) I was saved by The Human League and their amazing song “Don’t You Want Me”. And as we find ourselves in that weird twilight zone-week between Christmas and New Year’s where I am obligingly trying to stay tipsy on vintage port, I started thinking about why this song is so brilliant. I came up with the following (listed below in random order) but would love to receive your additional input. Input on why this song is anything less than awesome will be deleted immediately. Just so you know.

The Human League

  • You will be hard pressed to find a song which more perfectly captures that electronic 80’s sound
  • The music video (I know. It technically has no relevance to the song itself. But please watch it anyway)
  • In its own way it is a sad love song (or maybe more of an indignant love song from the male side I suppose) but hey, it’s up tempo enough that you can dance to it in your stockinged feet at that point of the party when almost everyone else have gone home and the hosts wish that you and your few equally rude friends would, too
  • There are generally too many sad love songs that require a partner to slow dance with. And as we all know the many pitfalls of the slow dance, I much prefer a love song that allows you to jump around and – more importantly – engage in the lost art of air keyboard playing   
  • The abundance of trench coats and the unisex make-up artistry in the video (see comment on music video above)
  • The chorus which allows you to pathetically sing-ask any random stranger on the dance floor if they really don’t want you, when you know that they most likely really, really don’t. And that’s OK. Because they’re not supposed to
  • The lyrics that reveal the male protagonist as a right wanker
  • The composition of the song which practically begs for its chorus to be sung out very loud (top of lungs preferable) while the singers carry out a complex choreography of jumping in place while the right arm is stretched into the air with a fully extended index finger pumping the arm up and down to emphasize the words.

I have to admit that the last point itself is enough for me to find the song brilliant. What else could you possibly want from a song? Now, please watch the video and follow above instructions carefully and kindly help me in reaching my goal that this song is compulsory at every house party you attend from here on out. So you’ve gone to a Renaissance theme party? I don’t care. I’m sure Louis XVI and Marie A. would have related to the lyrics.

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